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What ‘toxic manifesting’ self-talk looks like – and what to do instead

So, this week I am sharing with you:
“lessons from a speeding fine,
a breath test
and dog doing poo in my car”
This is quite a story stay with me 😂…”

I recently returned from a beautiful three-day getaway in the Aussie countryside with my cousin and two of her kids. We stayed on the Campaspe River with my aunt and uncle to celebrate Easter and my cousins’ birthday.

We travelled up on her actual birthday – with me following her in my car. She was a little disappointed that her planned birthday celebrations had fallen away – but excited for our mini road trip together nonetheless.

😩 Not 45 minutes down the road and the ‘woop woop’ of lights and sirens had her pulling over to the side of the road. A few minutes later she received a very unwelcome birthday gift by way of a speeding fine!

😩 Another 15minutes ahead and she was pulled over for a random breath test (I was waved on as they were full after her car 🤷🏻‍♀️)

😩 About 45 minutes after that I called her to say that her 13 year old, very old labrador was smelling pretty gross – and that perhaps a toilet break was in order? It turned out he had done a lovely big 💩 in the back seat(missing BOTH doggy mats that had been placed across my back seat).

We were in pants wetting hysterics of disbelief at yet *another* unforeseen challenge in achieving her fantastic birthday – but also she was a bit upset…

“Why am I manifesting all this on my birthday?”

The truth was she wasn’t! She was feeling vulnerable as she wanted the day to feel special and these events were anything BUT that.
But – it wasn’t that she was ‘manifesting’ anything – it was simply that events were highlighting the sadness she was feeling.

She 100% deserved the BEST birthday ever!

The truth was:
*She was speeding – and got a fine.
*Police presence was FULL-ON for the Easter weekend, and hundreds and thousands of motorists were being pulled in for random breath tests.
*Her dog frequently loses his bowels being very close to the end of his life (information I did NOT know before I agreed to take him 😂)

Sometimes we ARE manifesting – sometimes it’s just ‘life’.

You’d be surprised how often my clients fall into this same trap of feeling as though you are a ‘negativity magnet’ or manifesting bad things – when ‘bad’ things happen. This is not what manifesting is all about! When we give away our power in this way it is nothing more than ‘spiritual bypassing’ at its worst. (and it’s the side of ‘manifesting’ that I truly despise).

Rather than feeling as though you are a magnet for bad things – it can be powerful and empowering to ask yourself:

“What am I making this mean?”

And – really hearing and seeing what the underlying feeling or need really is that is coming up around the events for HEALING, whilst also looking at the REALITY of what is actually happening!

Then you have the choice as to how you feel and what you do next instead of getting stuck in the victim and toxic-manifestation ‘mindset and action’ loop. You deserve better!

As for my cousin, it all ended up OK! For the rest of the day we focused on creating joy, laughter and doing our utmost to create some great memories for her birthday – with the knowledge that she truly deserved it! And had a great weekend.

3 Questions you can ask yourself when you are in situations that are making you feel like a negativity magnet:

  1. Are you making events mean something that is untrue?
  2. Are you buying into toxic manifestation or spiritual bypassing?
  3. What is the underlying need or healing that is not being met that this event is highlighting for you?

Be kind to yourself!

Amanda xx

PS – I recently recorded a beautiful podcast episode with Emma McMillan
Here is the link if you’d like to have a listen.

We explored so much…!
✨ The challenge of coming back to ourselves after a lifetime of putting others first.
✨ Redefining productivity to honour our capacity and the seasons of life.
✨ Creating your own writing ritual and process, and
✨ The magic that can transpire when you choose to follow breadcrumbs from the universe.

Futher reading

Navigating Overwhelm When The World Feels Heavy

Navigating Overwhelm When The World Feels Heavy

My work with clients is often navigating overwhelm and unravelling from these either/or beliefs, mindsets and patterns and embracing the idea of AND/BOTH in life and work. Because that is the true reality of living in human bodies.

A personal story of grief and worry

A personal story of grief and worry

It’s been a little unnerving this week to find myself experiencing this weird mix of grief and worry – that honestly – I didn’t see coming. Here I share a personal story of grief and worry.